In The WInd Page 5

  Incredibly complicated and clumsy. And unromantic. But it works.

  We never would've learned of it but for Horst-who, I think, had nothing of the sort in mind when he let that old manta bolt him down.

  And that's about all there is to say. It's a puzzle story. Why did von Drachau do it? I don't know-or don't want to know-but I work under severe handicaps. I'm an Old Earther. I never had a father to play push-me pull-you with my life. I never learned to care much about anything outside myself. A meager loyalty to companions in action is the best I've ever mustered. But enough of excuses.

  The fighting with mantas continued four years after Horst's death, through several lesser migrations that never reached the mating grounds. Then a government inquiry board finally stepped in-after Commander McClennon and Fleet Admiral von Drachau had spent three years knocking on doors at Luna Command (Ubichi's wealth has its power to blind). Their investigations still aren't complete, but it seems they'll rule Camelot permanently off limits. So Horst did buy something with his life. Had he not died, I doubt the Commander would've gotten angry enough to act.

  That he did so doesn't entirely please me, of course. I inherited his position. Though I pulled down a handsome income as JG Kill's wing leader and on-going top killer, I loathed the administrative donkey work. Still, I admire the courage he showed.

  I also admire Horst, despite his shortcomings, despite myself. But he wasn't a hero, no matter what people want to hear me say. He was a snot-nosed kid used to getting his own way who threw a suicidal tantrum when he saw there was no other way to achieve his ends...

  And that's it, the rolling down of the socks to expose the feet of clay. Believe the stories or believe his wingman. It's all the same to me. I've got mine in and don't need your approval. *

  *Not true, in your editor's opinion. Especially in his private communications, del Gado seems very much interested in finding approval of things he has done. Perhaps he has a conscience after all. He certainly seems desperate to find justification for his life.

  -Dogfight

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